Oh how I hate transcribing videos, but since I'm not responding to the whole thing I thought I would.
Starting @ 2:30:
I was so afraid to take medication 20 years ago when I was first diagnosed with depression because I thought that it would take away from my creativity. I thought that I would no longer be able to write. But I agree with so many doctors that have said not only does it make my concentration better, it makes me a better writer. It's just that the subject matter sometimes isn't death and doom and despair. It can sometimes be about children and friendship and all the graces that I experience on a daily basis.
Starting @ 4:10:
... medication isn't the end of creativity. It's not the end of being an artist, a writer, an actress, it's the beginning. It's the beginning of a life--of a better life. Of a treatable mood disorder. So I guess I just wanted to encourage all those artists and creative people out there that treatment isn't our enemy, it's our friend, and it works on the side of life.
I'm shooting myself in the foot writing this. I know this is something that's going to get thrown in my face again and again, every single time I dip into a decent depression and start doing stupid things (or I should say stop doing smart things). But I guess that's sort of the point, isn't it? For someone (as long as it's not my mother) to grab my shoulders and shake me and go
Cheryl you idiot. What do you think you're doing (or not doing)? YOU SAID IT YOURSELF, you like being functional, you hate when your head feels so heavy that your blog's filled with crap. I printed this out and saved it and stapled it to the front of your chart so I could find it in a flash. WTF are. you. doing? Get dressed for starters...Not that my current therapist would ever speak to me like that (my last one would) you'd laugh hysterically at the thought if you ever meet her, but I am henceforth giving her permission to do so.
I think that a lot of people think that medication dulls who they are. I think that's a common perception, but I wonder how many people that is true for (I'm sure there are some) and how many people experience a "placebo effect." While I wasn't alive back in the day, from what I gather the really old school stuff does dull personality. But as far as Therese and I feel, there is other stuff out there that can balance you out to the point of being appropriately creative and not dull. To borrow from OOO rules, these are our experiences and I am in no way stating that they are yours. My advice is that if your medication does make you feel dull, pressure your psychiatrist until you get it right.
I don't know about you, but my creativity makes me feel alive. My creativity makes me proud of myself. My creativity got me noticed by New Mobility magazine (check out the April issue) and got me a spot on a panel presentation during the upcoming OOO of MD annual conference. My creativity brings focus to successful Cheryl as opposed to utter failure Cheryl. Both sides of me are equally accurate, but which side would you like to focus on when you wake up in the morning?
While of course mania makes me super creative, my experience of bipolar is one of prolonged depression that sucks all of the creativity out of me. My depression doesn't manifest itself in a way where I write about "death and doom and despair," but I feel so disconnected from my writing, from my creativity, from the good parts of me.
So like Therese, I have advice for all you creative bipolar people out there. My advice is to take your medication. My advice to myself is that I take my medication. The point is not for the bottle to sit and look pretty. The point is to strive to be the person that you could be, instead of the person you are. I like that person better.