On Being Hit On

I can't believe that in almost 3 years I have never written about this. The drunk men who have hit on me at karaoke bars and on the bus, the completely sober guy who hit on me while I was waiting for my ride outside the hospital I used to volunteer at, the numerous cab drivers, and the seriously manic group member. [for those of you who don't know, mania, in some cases, can make someone hypersexual. Frustratingly continuously aroused.] There was also the bus driver who would ask me inappropriate questions, but I'm not sure if he was actually hitting on me or not. I was a regular on that bus and the only one on the bus sometimes. Maybe he just wanted conversation?

Only once (or maybe twice, it's been awhile since I've gotten hit on at a bar, I've stopped going to bars) have I ever been brushed up against, by a drunk man on the bus at about 10am. This man then got off the bus at my stop and asked me out to lunch at McDonald's. I said "I'm going to work," and then sped up as fast as possible in my powerchair so that he couldn't catch up. It was the same day I got hit on by the manic guy -- a banner day for me. *end sarcasm*

Most recently, yesterday, I got hit on by a guy at 7-11. I'm not in the best mood and he looked at me (I did not make eye contact with him) And told me to smile. He said I looked like I have a very nice smile. I'm always flattered by it, even if the man is clearly not in his right mind, has no idea what is coming out of his mouth, which he cannot control, and which he would be embarrassed about if his meds were tweaked right. This guy was not manic or drunk. So I started to smile (still not making eye contact) and then decided not to give the skeevy guy any satisfaction. Or at least I tried not to -- I couldn't get my spastic muscles to wipe the half smile off my face quickly enough.

I'd like to think that men would still find me attractive even if they weren't drunk or manic. They just would have the sense of mind to keep their mouth shut about it. I'm not picking up a guy at 7-11, certainly will not give a cab driver my number, but yet these are the only men that have the courage, or the idiacy? to give it a shot. How much of it is because of my good looks, how much of it is that because of my disability these men think that I'll settle for anything? Because I'm "damaged." How much is the lack of interest by other men because of my disability, or is it my weirdness, me being intimidating because I heckle the president for fun? It's something to think about.

In the meantime though, I'll continue to smile to myself when the drunkards and the manic group members shamelessly hit on me, politely, or not so politely, turning them down. I have too much self-respect not to wait for the man who finds heckling the president with me to be a turn on. He's out there somewhere.