It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Fun*Run Time

It's ALREADY that time of year again: The ADAPT Fun*Run for Disability Rights is April 22nd 2012. Maryland's fundraising goal is $8,000 this year. Yes, that's right, $8,000

Donate $1! Donate $10! Donate $100! Donate $1,000! JUST DONATE so we can FREE OUR PEOPLE! I thank you very much for your support!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

My Life is a Boomerang

So my acupuncturist I was so happy to see, the one I was so happy had a $20 copay and was across the street from school, won't see me.

says you: why not?
says me: she says there's nothing she can do for me. says my issues are therapeutic issues so she kicked me back to my shrink.
The first guy I saw, who was way further away, did not say that, but I did not like him and will not go back. So do I see another acupuncturist or do I just give up? Right now I just want to cry or tear my hair out. Either one will do. See there is a history of this regarding me.

I kept being referred by professors to disability support services for school related anxiety. After I got diagnosed with bipolar II they bumped me off the case worker I'd been working with and onto the caseworker that handles the psyc students. She's an LCSW-C (the same thing my shrink is). Whole thing makes sense, right? Except she keeps telling me that my issues are therapeutic issues, not her issues, and every time I met with her she kicked me back to my shrink, leaving me with roadblocks she should be more equipped to deal with.

Then there's my physiatrist. The one doctor I have who is never allowed to retire (unless I die first). She's doing her job to the best of her ability, but it's not enough. She's supposed to be the one that coordinates everything, used to, can't anymore cause this is completely out of her element. The one piece she has complete control over is my pain management. Like I said, she's doing her job to the best of her ability, it's just not enough. She gives me as much botox as a person can have. I don't want it to kill me. She's given me pills that help, but they too have life threatening side effects if I take as much as I need when I'm in a serious anxiety crisis. She too says my pain has origins that are of therapeutic nature and kicks me back to my shrink. This at least is not her fault. She can't do anything else for me unless I want to die. This doesn't make it any less frustrating.

Oh and a sleep specialist, guess what he did? That's right... kicked me back to my shrink. At one point I had a crazy idea that maybe my shrink could coordinate with one of the shrinks that work at the counseling center at school. She was open to it, but they said they don't do that.

My psychiatrist, well lets just say that in this case psychiatrist and shrink are one in the same. I'm being repeatedly kicked back to both of them. My psychiatrist was not doing her job so I ditched her in June, waited til I had a new one in place I was pretty sure I liked. New one is doing all he can as well, which is nothing. A decision was made to keep things status quo. He was open at least to trying something different, but when we did, those same life threatening side effects came back (some pain meds and anxiety meds are exactly the same).

What does all this mean? This means that my shrink can't do her job as well as she could if she wasn't responsible to cover everybody else's. We'd both like to kick some of my "therapeutic issues" to somebody else, but my supposed support system has turned into a perpetual boomerang. A person can't have a one person support system. One person isn't a system, it's a dyad (I guess it's 1.5 cause there is finally at least one person she actually coordinates with).
says you: but didn't you say you go to a support group?
says me: it's only a tiny chip off of a very large ice berg.


Kara said...

Definitely sounds frustrating! I have a feeling you'll find the solution (because you always do!) but I did have a suggestion. Have you considered seeing someone with different training if these people aren't really helpful for you? LSW is an entirely different field than counseling and/or psychology. Technically, they're social workers-not therapists or "shrinks". Look for someone with a Ph.D. or a Psy.D.

Cortney said...

I will have to look up what technically this doctor is that I have been seeing but his WHOLE job is to cordinate other doctors/specialist. His background is in orthopedics but he does not practice orthopedics. Basically I went to him. Told him my life story. He asked a lot of questions from phyiscal, to mental to sexual etc and then made suggestions and referals. All my visits with other doctors go to him, and then we meet to discuss how its going. Its worked well. He only works with CP or CP like cases so he knows CP and the other things that are common to come along with it. Maybe try calling CP clinics? This all came about after a year of me calling doctor after doctor.

What are you hoping the acupuncture will do? As disapointing as it is, at least they are honest about their opinion.

Andrea said...

Hi Cheryl, you don't know me-I'll friend you on fb if you want or you can friend me. I think I noticed(?) you are on Elyse Hope Killoran's prosperity alignment group, not sure. If not it's a good theory, in general, though not sure how active the group is right now. I do energy work and am available some for questions or maybe also sending you in the right direction. Try to hold for a positive outcome! You're attracting some positive followers and support here, so that shows some good things coming your way! And, you sound like you are persistent, courageous and determined! Keep at it!

Cheryl said...

I've been meaning to answer these comments and I just realized it's been over a month. What bad etiquette.

Kara, I really like who I am seeing and firmly believe that a social worker with an LCSW-C license is just as good as a PhD/PsyD. However, someone in my support group is seeing a PhD who specifically specializes in physiological responses to anxiety. GREAT. Not that I'd ever stop seeing who I am seeing, I like her too much. I would see them both, & she agrees it would be a wonderful idea as this is just not what she does. Problem, he only takes new people if they've been refereed by an MD and mine gave up after being bumped to the answering service and not getting called back one too many times.

Cortney, I'm guessing the Dr you are seeing is a physiatrist? I already have one of those, been seeing her almost half my life and I just LOVE her. In respect to a lot of things everything did go though her for years until this new diagnosis. Actually I remember after I turned 21 she asked me if I had a new primary care doc and I just looked at her and said "You." Why in the world would I ever need anyone else. She is still considered my primary doc to me even though I finally got one. She did talk to my last psychiatrist in terms of making sure meds she gave me for pain management wouldn't mess with my psyc meds, but unfortunately she considers all this out of her league.

Andrea, thanks for visiting my site. Welcome!

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