I Want You to Want Me

Lately, therapydoc, over at Everyone Needs Therapy has become stuck writing posts revolving around song lyrics. I could do one of those I thought. I should do one of those I thought. I already have two of my own, but they're not nearly as good. I just needed a song is all...

Saturday night I found one. I Want You to Want Me. It's by Cheap Trick originally, but has also been done by Letters to Cleo and Save Ferris according to the desk clerk at the Quality Inn in Toms River, NJ, and Kelly Clarkson and Bon Jovi according to youtube. Who knows who else. This is apparently a very popular song. On my 4th click I happened to find the Letters to Cleo version with the words on there. Don't have to post them and make this longer now. And hey, I just realized after I posted that it matches my new color scheme :-D

How did this song come up? Well there's some history with this song with one of my former roomates who got married on Saturday and I embarrassed her and all of her (our for a time) other former roomates from over the last 3 years and made them all come up to the front of the dance floor and sing it, right in the middle of the party. The DJ didn't have it, so I got the front desk to print out the lyrics, and forced all of the other 4 girls to come up there. It's now on video, us singing it karaoke style.

I thought about the lyrics as I stood up there singing in front of about 80 people. It's about a guy trying to get the girl. But can't it also be about a crip trying to get her/himself a date, or even just plain friendship? Can't it also be about acceptance?

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm beggin you to beg me.

'I'm beggin you to beg me' doesn't quite work, but the rest of it... I've written about this before. I keep in my mind and very close to my heart the memories of sitting in my room and crying because I'd never get a date. No one would ever love me. Why would an AB ever want to be seen in public with a crip? And why would I ever want to date a crip? That would be a fate worse then death (man 16 year olds are dramatic). Those words, they just stuck with me. They match up to my experiences, and the experiences of crip friends so well it's scary. Now I'm not one of those girls who is incomplete without a man. Who bases her whole self-worth on the guy she's with. I had a friend like that once. I wanted to strangle her. But isn't it nice to be wanted/needed/loved? Isn't that what all humans strive for? We're herd animals after all. We thrive on companionship. For G-d's sake, a woman in England is making a public plea to find a date for her son with Down Syndrome. That is just sad. It needs to change. It shouldn't be so hard.

But maybe I don't have to take this so far to the extreme. Maybe we should just be talking about acceptance and friendship? The recent 'spread the word to end the word' campaign put that thought in my head. Our need for companionship can end right there with friendship. You can cry because you don't have any friends. Because no one wants you to be around. No one wants to be your friend because you have a DD and you're a freak.

Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin?
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin?
Feelin all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin.
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin?

Those words hit home just as much. I spent years without any real friends, although it wasn't as dire. No one wanted me gone. One of my friends said he saw an R-Word campaign commercial on TV. He gets it now. My other friends just roll their eyes at me. Wouldn't it be great if Special Olympics developed a commercial around this song? Does someone want to develop a youtube video? It would be great. I'd post it here.