What's That You Say?!?! You Find Your Chair Empowering???

[picture discription: a bad picture of me in my Jazzy powerchair from Feb 2006]

That's right ladies and gentleman. Me of all people, the person who walks around so much that she's so tired she falls asleep on the floor with the lights on and walks around close to tears from exhaustion. I like my powerchair. Today. We'll see about tomorrow. As I said in an email this morning, these last 3 weeks I've felt like some sort of foreign being has invaded my body. I've been in a great mood, I'm "popular" all of a sudden, and low and behold, I like the chair. Today. Things will probably change if/when I exit the alternate universe I'm in currently.

Why do I like the chair all of a sudden? Because I'm BORED. I don't have a working TV or computer (still) and right now I live alone. You see, in addition to being a chronic chair hater, I've also been absolutely convinced for years that I'm incapable of finding ways of entertaining myself. Enter TV and computer. That I don't have anymore. Summer is light on my schedule. Some days (like weekends) I may have 6 straight hrs to fill. What am I going to do? Stare at the wall for 6hrs? I've been a fan of staring at blank walls for years. I do so on a daily basis. But not for 6hrs. I absolutely draw the line at an hr and a half. On top of everything else, the gym has been closed for repairs since May 20-something and every week I check to see if it's open and they say, "Try early next week." I'm in much need of a good 2 mi run.

What have I been doing? Well a few weeks ago I went to the supermarket about a mile down the road 3 times in a week. I ventured into the public library maybe 1/2 mi down the street (as opposed to sticking to the school library) and read part of one of Marlee Matlin's books. Unfortunately they didn't have Moving Violations. I went to the zoo with friends. That time since a friend with CP came we split and half the time she used her scooter and I used my crutches and then we switched. So it wasn't actually my chair, but it counts. The day before I went to the mall (across the street from the supermarket) and searched and searched for a pair of sunglasses that weren't huge. Don't understand that trend. I can usually walk the mall, but I had to cover the whole thing 3X to find them (then I lost them 2 days ago and had to get another pair ). I cut through Barnes & Noble to get to the mall because it's safer, so I've been there too. While I was still out that day, a friend called and asked if I wanted to go with her to someplace "on the strip." I said "No prob. I'm in my chair already there. Call me when you're leaving. No need to get me. I'll meet you at the place." That felt cool. Afterwards we went 2 stores over to have dinner, and then I took the chair (and myself) home. I had a meeting on Fri and instead of wasting my $ on cab fare, guess what I did? I took the chair. It was a block further than the mall and thankfully in a completely accessible building.

Not in the chair, I've gone up to Wegmans for dinner with that same friend (LOVE that place) and down to the inner harbor with her to hit up a bar. Afterwards we went into Little Italy. I've gone to a pizza place with another friend, and then to his place for a bit of TV (because I can't never watch TV and of course we couldn't go to my place). On Father's Day I went to Harbor East with the fam for a late brunch.

My therapist said last week that she thinks bored suits me. I can't argue with her. I feel exhausted just reading that. Except that for once, even though I still walk about 1.5 mi to/from class 2X/week, I'm not tired. I'm committing suicide just by writing this. I'm never going to live this down. I may have just given up my right to fight with people. Except that well, I'm still worried about getting fat and losing muscle mass, because the more I use the chair, the more I want to use the chair. It's so comfortable and much faster than I am. There's a lot of appeal to that. It's a very dangerous slippery slope, that I'm afraid I may already be on.

But why am I really empowered by the chair? A close friend called yesterday afternoon. He really needed me. It was a rough day for him. But he also needed to be out. He wanted to go to the mall. "How long will it take you to finish what you're doing and cab it?" he asked. "Well if we're going there, then I'm taking my chair and it just so happens that I'm already in it. I'll call you when I'm leaving campus and I'll be there in 20mins." We went to the mall, cut through Barnes & Noble, the art store, Hudson Trail, and Trader Joe's. I'm empowered by the chair because I was able to drop what I was doing almost at a moments notice and be there for somebody that needed me. That's something I couldn't do without the chair. And I wouldn't trade that for anything.

Damn chair... It's just supposed to be pure evil.